i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
