my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
