Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
