also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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