Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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