OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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