She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
