So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize