last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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