Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
