We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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