Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
