I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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