I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I fill condoms, not promises.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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