You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
