I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
