Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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