i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
