hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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