you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
