Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
