I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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