I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
