i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
