ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
babies were throwing up all over the place
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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