I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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