And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
