my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
