I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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