you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
