Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize