Dual....:-)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
