So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize