He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
