Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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