i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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