i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
