sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
