i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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