We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize