He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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