im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize