dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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