these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
