Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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