my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
