Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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