It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
