i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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