found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
