Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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