butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
