Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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