one might say we're banned from that church
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
