So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
