I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
