I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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