so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
