dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
