May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
