She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
